QUIET, PLEASE!

Are you raising a child with extraordinary needs? If so, you are probably experiencing stresses that many parents can’t imagine. Perhaps the pace of your life is bordering on frantic—many extra hours each day spent on meeting your child’s everyday needs, plus many medical appointments, hours in therapy, meetings with teachers, and so on, all on top of the normal demands of running a house and possibly holding down a job! Perhaps you’re living in a state of hyper-vigilance, parenting from crisis to crisis and constantly wondering when the next upsetting or frightening event will happen.

You need quiet time. Not want—need! And this quiet time can’t be put off indefinitely.

Where do you like to go to find some peace and quiet? My favorite choice for quiet time is an outdoor spot where I can enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. Even a short time (15 minutes!) in such a place can relax and refresh me before I head back to the craziness of life.

If you, like me, have a hard time giving yourself permission to take some quiet time for yourself, here are some thoughts to consider:

Time alone helps us calm extreme emotions.

A 2017 study showed that being alone helps a person self-regulate. If you’re feeling very angry, frustrated, upset, or stressed, being deliberate about taking time to be alone can help you calm those feelings and return to your activities in a better frame of mind.

Quiet time gives us an opportunity to focus on God and his Word.

One reason I enjoy being alone where I can enjoy natural beauty is that looking at the beauty of God’s creation reminds me of God’s love for his people, including me. But even if the weather is bad and I need to stay indoors, quiet time gives me an opportunity to read God’s Word, reflect on what he says to me there, and pray to him. My perspective changes from stressed and focused on this world to trusting and focused on God and eternity, and the same can happen for you. God truly does want us to cast our anxieties on him, knowing that he cares for us. (1 Peter 5:7)

Being alone in a quiet place sparks creativity.

Authors and composers often isolate themselves in quiet rooms or even in cabins in the woods for a reason. Being alone allows the mind to wander, and that often leads to creative ideas that don’t come easily amidst chaos and noise. Do you need creative ideas for how to better handle the many struggles of parenting? Find some time alone, pray about it, and then just let your mind wander. You might just come up with solutions you’ve never thought of before!

You can set a good example for your children.

Studies have shown that children who are comfortable being by themselves often have fewer behavior problems. It makes sense; children and teens who don’t feel a need to be with others all the time would be more willing to do what they feel is best, rather than follow the crowd because they need to fit in. They also would be better able to take the quiet time needed to calm themselves and come up with creative solutions to their problems. So model for your children the importance of taking quiet time by taking that time for yourself!

Jesus often took time to be alone.

The Bible often tells us about Jesus going off to solitary places to rest and to talk to his heavenly Father. Jesus, the Almighty God, needed quiet time and took it! If Jesus needed it and modeled the importance of quiet time for us, doesn’t it make sense that we need quiet times too?

Parents, we need quiet, solitary times on a regular basis. Let’s give ourselves permission to take them, and even make ourselves take them. Those quiet times will be a blessing to everyone—to us and to our families. Enjoy them!