TEN WAYS YOUR CHURCH CAN–AND SHOULD–SUPPORT PARENTS

In my last post, “Hey, Christians! Stop Waiting to Welcome!”, I shared ways Christians can be proactive in making their churches welcoming to children and adults with disabilities. But when children with special needs such as severe disabilities, fragile health, and mental health disorders are part of a congregation, they aren’t the only ones who need support.

Parents of children with extraordinary needs need your support, too.

I could write many, many blog posts about what it is like to raise children with extraordinary needs, and I might in the future. For now, I’ll just say that it can be all-consuming, beyond what most parents can even imagine. Parents of children with extraordinary needs love their children and are thankful for them, just like other parents. But the amount of time and energy that these parents must devote to taking care of those children is something that most Christians can’t fully understand. Such parents may…

• Rarely, if ever, have time to read a book or watch a movie on TV;
• Spend many hours every week at hospitals, doctors’ offices, and therapy centers with their children and then continue treatments and therapies for hours every day at home;
• Be on their feet caring for their children from the time they get up in the morning until it’s time to go to bed at night totally exhausted, and then get up multiple times during each night to care for those children some more;
• Never be able to get a baby-sitter or have a date night away with their spouse because of the children’s unique needs;
• Struggle to find time to do basic household tasks such as cleaning, cooking, and home repairs;
• Feel completely isolated from friends and extended family members; and
• Spend a great deal of money on things their children need that are not covered by insurance, such as special foods, safety equipment for the home, therapy animals, specially made clothing, and the like.

So what can churches and fellow Christians do?

1. Speak regularly in sermons, newsletters, and Bible studies about the importance of showing Christian love to parents. Also use those opportunities to encourage parents of children with special needs to ask for help confidentially, trusting that they can do so without being judged.

2. Offer to take care of the children for an evening so that the parents can have a date night; or, if one parent needs to be at home at all times, fellow Christians can offer to take mom or dad out individually for a snack or meal.

3. If it would be helpful to the family, bring ready-made meals to them from time to time, or provide gift cards for restaurants, fast food, gas, groceries, and other necessities.

4. With the parents’ permission, have a benefit or fundraiser to raise money for medical bills or to purchase needed equipment for children with disabilities.

5. Start a small-group Bible study geared toward parents of children with extraordinary needs. Make sure to allow the parents to join virtually if it is hard for them to attend because of their children’s needs.

6. Offer to go grocery shopping or run other errands for the family.

7. Offer to do handyman tasks to help maintain the family’s home.

8. Encourage and support your church’s elementary school in developing a special education program and also in having regular training for teachers in how to work with students who have experienced trauma.

9. Pray specifically for members of the family, and let them know you are doing so.

10. Have your volunteer coordinator ask parents of children with special needs for specific ways their fellow Christians could be helpful to them. For many types of help, the family’s name could be kept confidential so that they can respect their children’s privacy.

When offering to help, don’t just say, “Is there anything I can do for you?” The parent, in an effort not to impose on you, will probably say no. Instead, offer to do specific things to help. Ask, for example, “Can I watch your children for you for a few hours this weekend so that you can have some time to yourself? Are there any household fix-it projects that I can help with?”

Let the parents know that it would be a blessing and a privilege for you to be allowed to show Christian love in this way.

Church members often do an outstanding job of providing support to families who suddenly face challenging situations such as a premature birth, an auto accident, or a cancer diagnosis. Let’s also work together to do an outstanding job of supporting parents, especially parents whom God has entrusted with the long-term challenge and blessing of raising children with extraordinary needs!